I was inspired by many poems on suicide so I made my own with some ideas from tiktok. I wanted to make this because I've seen so many kids my age that have been committing suicide and that's not okay. I also wanted to make this out as a message to anyone just to speak up if your not okay with anything.
Kia ora Brendan. Thank you so much for sharing your poem and acknowledging where you got your ideas from. You're right this is a huge problem in New Zealand. Maybe you could do some research to see what help is already out there for people affected by suicide. And if you think more needs to be done then maybe you could start something? I'm really impressed with your poem Brendan. Did you know about the Ako Hiko Poetry Slam
ReplyDelete? You can still have a go if you like...
Good afternoon Mr Margetts. Thanks for the compliment, I'll probably start some research soon and I didn't know anything about the poetry slam but I guess I'll have a look into it. Blog you later !
DeleteThanks for filling out the form Brendan. Maybe could could run a class poetry contest?
DeleteYour welcome Mr Margetts, I'll see if I can ask my teacher or I'll email all my classmates if they want to.
DeleteHi Brendan. My name is Levi, I'm from Wesley Intermediate Room 9. I really enjoyed reading your poem. I liked how you added a quote after the poem, I would like to to see more poems from you. Blog ya later!
ReplyDeleteHi my name is Ladainian your cousin. Hey Brendan I Loved This Because This Tells Me To Never Treat Myself Like . Maybe next time you could put some pictures in or some colour. Blog ya later!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ladainian, yup ill try to add some in my next poem. Blog you later !!!
DeleteKia Ora Brendan,
ReplyDeleteI really like your poem about one of the biggest problems in New Zealand. I agree with you very much, people should speak up when everything isn't right and ending it isn't the way. I believe that people who do this don't really take away the pain, they're really just passing it to the people around them. Kia pai tō rā!
-sita coz yeah
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ReplyDeleteHi I'm Tu'amellie, I enjoyed the part where you did the quote at the end. Also you taught me that suicide doesn't help. And how come you wanted to blog about this.
ReplyDeleteHi Brendan. It's Isaiah for Wesley Intermediate room 9. I liked your blog post about poems and i also like watching TikTok as well. Also i think you can add more stuff about your suicide poem.
ReplyDeleteHi Brendan. My name is David I'm Tongan I am from Rm 9. I really liked your poem :) I would love to see more poems
ReplyDeleteHi I'm Tu'amellie, I enjoyed the part where you did the quote at the end. Also you taught me that suicide doesn't help. And how come you wanted to blog about this.
ReplyDeleteWOW...this is awesome Brendan. You are right, it is such a big problem with our youth. I think it is important that we teach our young people ways to deal with their emotions and frustrations.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I would change (this is the teacher in me talking) is your line about the zip, it is the only one that doesn't contain a body part and the phrase 'so don't...' Maybe feeling could be changed to the mouth and finish with, so don't zip it up or keep it closed. (It is still great the way it is, and very thought provoking though)
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the quote...brilliant!